| Sunday, January 6, 2008 |
| [:: 2008... Already? ::] |
Another year has started, but do we all really grow a "year wiser"?
Many of us begin a new year with a clean slate. We proclaim our New Year's Resolution and vow to achieve the mighty goal we set. For instance, there was a very noticeable increase in the population of Gold's Gym on January 2nd. Will the surge become the norm? I'll let you know.
Have I grown a year wiser since the beginning of 2007? Posts from my other blog are focused on baseball, celeb gossip, and my career. Not much has changed. But am I wiser? Health-wise, I say, "yes." I lost 15 lbs. during the Summer of 2007. This was achieved the "smart way," a.k.a. diet and exercise. Aside from that, my wisdom hasn't leaped to yearly proportions.
However, I do see a change for 2008. If we do not seek wisdom, we will not gain any. Walking on a comfortable path will not provide us with a memorable journey. I hate resolutions, but I believe that I am taking steps toward something unfamiliar, yet fulfilling.
Will this make me a year wiser once the fireworks go off on Jan,1, 2009? I'll let you know.Labels: 2008, resolutions |
posted by Haute.Rec @ 12:54 AM  |
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| Sunday, April 1, 2007 |
| In One Moment |
After my last post I told myself that I would write regularly but now I feel like a totally different person. Jon and I (& a bunch of our friends) went to Vegas during the NBA All-Star Break and as Jon and I drove home we received the most horrible news. In one moment, my life changed drastically. An hour and a half into our drive home, Jon and I learned about the death of our dear friend, our "brother," Romelo.
That was 41 days ago. I am no longer brought to tears spontaneously several times a day, but there are days where a few tears are shed because I realize that the reality of a world without him. He was only 22 years old, it shouldn't be like this.
Passing through Vallejo (I was on my way home from SF), I stopped by his grave. Vallejo holds different meaning to me now. I was never from Vallejo. I resided there for a few years, but it was never home. It's my sister's home, it's Jon's home, but to me, now I equate it with Romelo. When I sit next to his grave, the thought, "It shouldn't be like this," runs through my mind repeatedly. All of it is surreal. 22 years old. Damn it.
To some people, the nature of the relationship Jon and I had with Romelo was not known because the foundation of that relationship was created when he was in the 8th grade. I sometimes still see him as that 13 year old following Jon everywhere. In that year, he permanently became our "brother." Sometimes I wonder if this guilt will ever fade. Some days I am rational and I know that he was okay with us moving here and getting our lives together. Other days I can't get over knowing that I didn't put forth enough effort to check on him the way we promised. Time and distance were an issue, but when it comes down to it, he was my brother.
It makes sense and at the same time makes no sense. Regardless, it hurts more than anything I've ever felt in my life. |
| posted by me @ 10:36 PM |
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| Thursday, February 8, 2007 |
| as smart as I seem? |
Before I start, I must apologize for the shitty layout that I created. This was my rough draft and I got too lazy to revise. My apologies.
Soooo...
When I was a junior in high school my English teacher thought I was smart. This became apparent when we were given an assignment which required us to read a book and analyze the shit out of it (my words, not his). We were able to use a book we chose as long as he approved it. I had an idea about the type of book I wanted but my teacher handed me a book to read, telling me, "I think that you are mature enough to understand this book."
"Other Voices, Other Rooms" by Truman Capote was a hugely popular book when it was released. When my teacher handed me the book, I looked at the faded cover, the yellowish pages, and the weird picture of Mr. Capote on the back and thought, "This might be boring."
I read the book, but with my eyes and not my mind or heart. I understood the concept, but I didn't really understand. Naturally, this was school work and I procrastinated because I thought I was so fucking smart, but I got the job done. I wrote my report and got an A-/B+ because I got it, but didn't quite get it. On my cover page my teacher scribble down, "Good job. You should read this again when you get older."
Ever since then I felt some sort of guilt for two reasons: one, I kept on forgetting to return the book, and two, I felt I didn't really live up to my "hype." But the thing was, I never felt that smart. If I don't feel that smart, how can I pursue anything?
Anyway, about a month or two ago, in one of my cleaning phases, I cleaned out an old filing cabinet. Way in the back, pushed under some crushed folders, I find the book and my crumpled report. I felt like I owed it to myself to reread this book and see what it was about. At first I thought, damn, I am just "regular" -- I have no new thoughts on this book! After I got over the panic I realized something, I did get it now.
I knew it had "weird" people, homosexuality, etc., but the thing is, I never put all the facts together. What we have in common with these odd people is the search for love and the loneliness that accompanies it. Sometimes the love we have doesn't fit what people think we should feel and we all can hear "other voices" and enter "other rooms." In our own ways, we can be the "weird" people. We judge others for different reasons, but at the root, we all know the journey that love takes us through. There's so much I missed the first time around because I didn't really read it. Now I know.
"The brain may take advice, but not the heart, and love having no geography, knows no boundaries: weight and sink it deep, no matter, it will rise and find the surface: and why not? any love is natural and beautiful that lies within a person's nature; only hypocrites would hold a man responsible for what he loves, emotional illiterates and those of righteous envy, who, in their agitated concern, mistake so frequently the arrow pointing to heaven for the one that leads to hell." |
| posted by me @ 8:24 PM |
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| Saturday, November 11, 2006 |
| ...and I'm baaack! |
Alas, on my 3-day weekend it just happened to be raining. So, as I sit in my living room in my pajamas, I've decided once again to start blogging. Remember, ages ago, when I used to blog as a sort of independent project of some guys from NY? There was a whole casting and blah, blah, blah... after a few weeks I was one of the "chosen ones." Although it was an odd experience because of the exposure I still loved it. It was during that moment in time that I was able to really write about what was on my mind. My writing became interesting and people who were not my friends thought my ramblings were enjoyable. After that experience I never continued being a regular blogger. That site is no longer exists but I do have access to my old posts.
So here I am again, world. My writing is quite rusty since it's been a few years, but nevertheless...... I'm back! |
| posted by me @ 2:43 PM |
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